FEBRUARY 9, 2023
When disaster strikes, it is tragic. When the disaster is within marriage covenant, the damage is intimate and deep. The first step to recovering what was lost and restoring the effects of the storm, is to evaluate the damage. An assessment of incurred losses is needed.
What can be recovered? What is salvageable and what is irreplaceable? What are the most urgent areas to address first? Can I do a safety check to determine further risk to myself and to my children? What places are now inaccessible because the risk is too great? What risks are required? What are the unmet needs for myself and where can I go to find the help I need?
When natural disaster strikes a community or region, whether from a hurricane, a tornado or a fire, a thorough assessment is taken to answer these questions. The degree of damage that has been done can be determined by looking at the condition of the home or building and by evaluating the threat for harm in the near future. While some disasters leave little to minimal structural damage, the unfortunate truth is that they can also be completely devastating, leaving a family with a sudden and unexpected future of no where to go and no way to recover all that they once had for a home.
In the most extreme situations, a home is deemed destroyed and unrepairable. When that is the case, the majority of the structure that once defined the home is upended and broken apart. Usually, only the foundation remains and the walls, roof, and supporting beams of the home are no longer attached, exposing the interior to all the elements of the world around them. In essence, the home is no longer a place of protection or provision, but one of constant threat to their security and even their lives. To continue to live there would mean obvious danger and imminent risk of survival. This was the home that was built for intimacy and safety, but now it is the most dangerous place to stay.
In light of all the physical damage that deems the home destroyed, a family is faced with the
instantaneous flood of emotions of their world turning upside down. Loss of their home is incomparable to the realization that the safety, ownership, identity and memories that were all cherished in that home are now gone as well! Some pain has no words and no hope for relief! The way a family deals with such devastation is deep and touches every part of their lives – their attitudes, their faith, their dreams, their relationships. When the damage done is unseen, it is most destructive! For it is the unseen damage that is the most personal and the most intimate.
When such intimate destruction hits a home, the loss is incalculable! Just as when disaster hits in the natural, a family is instantly left with no where to go and nothing to hold on to. What is one to do? If an insurance policy for marriage betrayal and devastation were available, what would this look like and how could this help? And would that even be enough? What does each person need to pick up the pieces of their lives and build again?
As this occurred in my life over and over again, I learned the arduous and rewarding journey of
rebuilding and repairing. I learned the deeply personal process of overcoming loss and pain. For anyone who knows and understands the trauma of betrayal, I encourage you to join me on the journey to discovering how God can re-make Home and restore back to us years and years of devastation! The journey begins at home! Are you ready?
Damage Assessment
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