Addiction & Grace by Gerald May
In this book, author Gerald May takes a deep dive into the struggle every human has with addiction. Every human, you ask? While the first part of this book explores the truth about addiction and how it physically changes our bodies, the second half of it captures the intimate solution God has for it all! Get ready to be changed as you come face-to-face with the reality of your divine need for our Creator. And be ready to consider coming home to Him in the wide open space that is the only place free of addiction.
Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick
Surfing for God was the first book I was given that explained the realities of my husband’s addiction. In this book, Michael John Cusick takes a deep dive into the spiritual condition of a man’s heart that causes him to betray his wife sexually. Written for the addict, this book also gave me the perspective I needed, and helped me to see what was really going on beneath the surface of his struggle and sin.
This book offers much hope and it gives the praying wife the help she needs to find compassion and understanding for the journey.
This was the first book I ever read that was written for the betrayed wife. I spent many years of my healing journey only learning about his addiction and recovery. However, this book brought a helpful understanding and validation of my needs and experiences.
The personal accounts included in this book were eye-opening and helped me to see how big an issue this is for so many more than just me.
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means
Worthy of Her Trust by Stephen Arterburn and Jason B. Martinkus
I devoured this book in three days! Written from the personal perspective of a former addict, Jason introduces tried and proven steps he used to build trust back into his shattered marriage. Knowing his wife Shelley was also involved in presenting the book’s material was valuable to me.
This book gives the most practical information I have ever heard on what it takes to bring restoration of trust back after sexual betrayal and deception.
Understanding and Loving A Person With Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Stephen Arterburn and Patricia A. Kuhlman
Clinical studies have shown that those who suffer from Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) exhibit similar traits to what betrayed spouses live through with their sexually addicted partner. While not all addicts are narcissists, almost all who suffer with NPD also struggle with some form of addiction. This book helped me understand why addicts struggle so hard to have empathy, maintain authentic relationships, look inward for satisfaction, and keep their promises. Giving the reader the insight so often needed, this book also explains why boundaries are key and how to keep when the partner is manipulative, deceitful and controlling.
Intimate Deception by Sherri Keffer
Written by a marriage and family therapist who has personal understanding of sexual betrayal and trauma, Dr. Keffer offers her own story as well as her professional expertise in this book. She gives the reader the clinical explanations behind trauma, recovery responses and the healing journey. One of the most helpful tools I received from this book were in the chapters dedicated to gaslighting, deception, blame and boundaries. This is a great resource for the woman who is looking to understand and heal from intimate deception in her marriage.
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